I Shovel, You Hoe
by Romance Isn't Dead
Summary: The untold story of Shovel Knight and Shield Knight's blossoming romance.


It was a dark and stormy night in the castle town. It had been too long since Shield Knight had last shared his bedroll. Too long since he had emptied his gem sack upon her ample bosom  
He could feel his loins strengthening under his plate metal as he fantasized about her. He could no longer remember her face or her voice, but he would never forget her curves. Her screams of pleasure, passion, and pain

He fought so hard for so long, but it was cold out there alone. What if she was gone? What if he was all alone?

Didn't he deserve to move on? After all of this? Even if only for one night  
As he walked into the warmth of the tavern, he couldn't stop his eyes from wandering  
The dancer, her lithe little form showcasing her grace, but also her lascivious womanhood. The water-carrier, her muscles hardened by years of hard labor.

In another life, Shovel Knight thought to himself. In another world. In this one, he had promised himself to another.  
And a knight doesn't make promises lightly.

He had always been small for his age. Weaker than the other squires and with no special talents to make up the difference.  
They told him to go home. This life just wasn't meant for him.  
But if Shovel Knight was anything, he was damn stubborn  
When the commander put him on ditch duty for the umpteenth time, he didn't complain  
With each passing day, he became stronger. The shovel became more a part of him than the sword had ever been.  
The others called him the Shovel Knight in jest.  
They were right about one thing. He was a knight, and he was the best there'd ever been.

He found a kindred soul, one who had also forsaken the blade. Her name was shield knight, and she vowed to defend at all costs. She would never strike down an enemy in anger, never provoke an unnecessary fight. They called her a coward, but Shovel Knight recognized that she had more honor than the rest of them put together.

They left together. Man and woman. Shovel and shield. They were as one. One soul, one body. It was only natural that their bond would soon be consummated.  
Thoughts of marriage were left unspoken. They had a quest, and were years from settling down. But the two knights had made a commitment that night, unspoken, yet forever binding. They were partners, but also more than partners.  
Their only home was each other. After long, exhausting days of travelling and conflict, the two would remove each other's armor. Piece by piece, steadily removing the mask of metal that hid them from the outside world. Only they could see each other's true selves.  
They were two outsiders, until he was inside her.

His stocky frame of bulging muscle interlocked with her firm, but lean body, like the cogs of a masterwork clock.  
She would always fret about her screams drawing demons out from the dark mouth of the forest. "Let them come," he would say. "When we are as one, we are perfect. Unstoppable."  
"Don't stop!" she would scream.  
"I've always been damn stubborn," he would grunt as he thrusted.  
Their coitus would last for the entire night, but the lack of sleep was far outweighed by the invigoration of their joining.  
The greatest challenge of the day was over before the battles even started. If they could conquer each other, then nothing in the world could stand in their way.  
Every day at the same time, shield knight took her routine nap. There were very few boundaries in their relationship, but that was one Shovel Knight knew not to cross. Even in the heat of passion, even when his flag was at full mast, he refused to disturb her,

He couldn't bear to watch her sleep, perfectly curled into a ball of nubile softness. The strength that defined her was not gone, but it was changed. It was the strength of vulnerability, and it awoke protective feelings in him that were previously hidden in the depths of his soul.  
But when his balls became bluer than his armor, he couldn't bear to be near her. Instead, he would distract himself with labor, digging ditches like the old days.  
On the rare occasion that he found something interesting or valuable, he would gift it to her at night. It would ignite the flames of her passion and she would tear off his armor with supernatural dexterity.  
Suffice it to say, the Shovel Knight soon developed a knack for finding buried treasure.


End file.
